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We all have been where I am now. A million different reasons, circumstances and events have brought us each to the spot I have just stepped off of…on my way to where my choice will lead.

I’m talking about that feeling ladies-the one where we are BURSTING with something fresh, lovely, bold, intuitive, brazen or just plain unconventional. We have discovered a tiny path through a thick forest-walked only by a few, but noticed and gazed at by many. Within us, we have this understanding that something-must-change.

Outside of us however, there are many conventions-beliefs about who we must/should/need to be. The “right order” of priorities, opportunities and advantages. It could be motherhood-coupledom-school-health conditions or simply (but powerfully) our own long-held shortsighted perspectives. No matter the specific reason, we each have found ourselves here, in this jar-lid purposefully and tightly sealed, cramped and wanting out….no matter the “how”, the feeling of being more than what we are-of deserving a chance to BECOME all we were created to be, remains the same.

I’ve been standing on this well-worn spot for quite awhile now. I’ve looked all around me and practically begged people to give me the answers I need-the permission to fly-the equation for freedom.

But finally, I have uncovered the secret. Not in an ancient text or written in the sky-just here. In my heart, through the wise counsel of women who have been here. I could only find this on my own after being tired of this place. After being fed-up with fetters and chock-full of shackles.

I discovered, that though I willingly crawled into the jar, believing wholeheartedly in good faith that I was safe inside-and that should I ever be ready (healthy, strong etc…) enough to come out, the lid would be opened willingly for me…..

And, as so many others before me, I have discovered this is not the case. People don’t like change. They are used to us being in the jar, living the title, fulfilling the role….and to set us free means risking it all.

So I’ve been standing here, on this wellworn circle of grass-waiting-praying-wishing-dreaming that someone, that one specific someone in particular, would take the plunge, the risk, the chance. On me. On my intellect, my intuition, my drive and determination, my well-proven track record of creating things out of nothing. “Open the lid”, I begged. “Please let me try…” I pleaded. “Just give me a chance!” I demanded.

But here’s the secret: I may have climbed into the jar willingly, and we make choices based on the information we have at the time. And that’s ok. But I do NOT have to stay inside willingly.

This whole time, I’ve believed the only way out was through the top, my cramped limbs and unflexed muscles have been straining to stay contained-trying to find a way to be comfortable where I am.

But what if: What if I stop straining to stay contained? And instead simply allowed my limbs-my wings-to open and stretch to their fullest potential? I’ll tell you what happens: This jar would explode into oblivion. It cannot contain me-how silly I was to think it would!

It would be lovely if our partners, parents, bosses and ourselves would simply open the lid and make our coming out an easy and peaceful transition, sprinkling flower petals as we walked our rite.

But this is seldom the way true heroines emerge. Heroines give themselves the permission that the damsels in distress ask others to give to them.

Besides- there is something to be said for explosive entrances-the kind that cause eyebrows to raise, and make people ask the question:

“Who is this Wild Woman, and HOW did she get into that tiny Jar!”

Follow me on Twitter!

I kept hearing about it….and I finally gave it a go-it’s a great way to get ahold of people quickly! I’ll be posting blog post links for both blogs, contests, sales, and personal updates there-soo much less time involved!

 Follow me here: http://twitter.com/shebirths 

 As soon as I hit 1000 follows, I’m going to offer a really exciting contest!!!

 Thanks~!

Marcie

My Defining Moment was a Hit and Run

Today, I had one of those moments that alters us inexplicably in a matter of just a few seconds. You know-one of those moments that blindsides you out of nowhere, takes your breath away and shakes your foundation just enough to cause a shift-one you will never be able to fully undo.

I was standing at the checkout line of a local Asian market. Thanks to the popularity of sushi, this particular store has the freshest fish around, so I prefer to buy my Salmon there-to be honest, they also have a wide variety of exciting fruits like Lychees and Mangos which are honestly my biggest weakness in the world.

I was there with my two boys in tow, putting my groceries into my re-useable bags, )because if you choose not to use their bags, they will NOT bag your groceries. (!?))…

As I stepped back from the counter, I felt like my heel was on fire-jammed between cold metal and the floor-I assumed it was a grocery cart, and as I cried out, and turned around, it was a Pakistani man in a battery-powered wheelchair. He said sorry-as he looked around to see who it was who had been hurt. When he saw me doubled over and holding on to the edge of the checkout counter, the strangest thing happened.

He looked at me, and I could see that it registered on his face that I was a woman, and his demeanor completely changed. He suddenly looked me in the eye angrily, and shouted: “YOU Should watch where you’re GOING!” He put his nose in the air and glared at me annoyed as he rolled by.

It was significant, because in the physical position I was in, slightly bent-over, leaning hard against the end of the checkout, I was in a submissive position physically-hurting and shocked. I saw in his eyes this complete lack of compassion and a conviction about his status-that I was a mere woman, and not deserving of a true apology-or acknowledgment.

 Suddenly I felt this rush of sensation-and women’s faces flashed before me. Generations of women disregarded, abused and tortured-regarded as nothing more than a convenience. I felt the sting of absolute humiliation and public disdain, and as I reeled from this vision-I held tighter to the checkout counter and wondered why noone offered to help me.

Not one person-including the cashier offered to help me. Everyone saw me struggling with little boys and bags of groceries, limping to my car in very obvious pain. And not one person asked me if I needed assistance.

I was processing this vision and feeling very much still “electric”, when we reached the car. One of my boys said they were “mad at that man”-and that he was “really bad for doing that and for yelling at me”. I looked into my boys’ soft brown eyes, and realized that what I had experienced in there-the vision I had had, was nothing compared to the next few sentences I would share with my boys.

It is important to me to have my boys grow up respecting women-I want them to cherish them, love them, treat them gently and listen to them when they speak. I know this is going very much against the “grain” in our society-especially with so much religious excuse for the disenfranchisement of women worldwide, and that this moment-this way of handling myself in this situation, would no doubt be important to accomplishing this task.

I answered them carefully:

“That man was wrong to hurt someone and then not apologize. But maybe he has been treated badly, and has a lot of angry feelings inside, and maybe noone has taught him that we don’t use angry feelings on or toward someone else. What he did was wrong, and it’s ok to feel angry about that, but let’s hope he finds people who will show him what love is, and that his heart gets better, and let’s let it go.”

 Defined by a Hit and Run: 1 Point for Women. 0 Points for Injustice.

One and the Same

ONE AND THE SAME

By: Marcie Macari

There is a feeling waiting to escape from my depths-

         It presses hard and upward- I swallow it down.

It isn’t that I don’t want to just “let fly”, or

            that I don’t believe I deserve to let go.

I do.

It’s just- I fear the tremors that will result

      when the Earth feels my rage-

 

The floods that will ensue-

    when this damn finally breaks-

The deader the silence, the more devastating the storm-

      and this silence is death.

The woman within is finally waking from a sleep

                                                                    I did not choose.

     Anesthetized against my will-

                             numbed by societal structures,

 

I donated vitalness without consent.

I have slept through

            the massacre of millions of women

                             silenced by rusty tools of subservience-

Maiming-

                   the beauty of sexuality and pleasure ripped  away

                               they are sewn tight- expression forbidden.

Women- the very essence of beauty,

                 draped head to toe in black-

                          covering the joy-inner flames extinguished-

                                         the very soulfire of yin

                                                  disguised and denied.

They are both the mourners and the deceased.

Winter has come and gone now-

 and Spring has me hungry to discover-

                      the sacred space

        where Goddesses dwell-

 

Where round bellies of creative souls,

               teach all that is eternal.

But all I see is desert- a vast and desolate space-

 

Retribution calls loudly-

                and my voice is joined by many-

                          it turns to a battle cry-

SOMEBODY somewhere MUST take responsibility

for this carnage-

 

                     this massacre of innocence-

                              this slaughter of purity.

And yet-

                    to be fully awake is to realize that I am you-

                                    you are me-there is no them-

                                               we are all one being-

We are inseparable-

 

If I feel the need to avenge your grief- I must

                        also be willing to be charged responsible.

This is true consciousness-

We have all turned down the volume, hindered the

                              noise, shushed the “instigators”-

                                         and in so doing, we have kept the innocent asleep-

                                 SO BE LOUD I SAY! Shout! Scream! Cause quakes and

                                               floods that keep your sister, mothers, daughters

                                                                       from falling asleep-

The web of oppression stretches across the

                Earth-corner to corner-

                                        it touches us all.

                                       Noone is immune

                                                     for we are one.

What are your 5 Smooth Stones…

* This post evolved into something I wasn’t expecting-it mentions maternal/baby deaths, and I would NOT suggest reading this if you are pregnant and/or haven’t come to terms with this topic. *

I have started this post so many times I’ve lost count. In my most recent blog post on  (*if you’re expecting a baby, please don’t click this link!) my other blog, I went off my normal topic, basically letting loose about some of what I think about what’s happening in our world, and in particular here in North America. (Hey-it’s my blog, my prerogative!) I yelled and shouted and hopefully…at least one person will wake up.

But when I sat down here to write this post about some information I just received from a very dear, very valuable Birth worker, I found myself writing in the same tone, because truly I’m so sick of the injustices surrounding the topic of Birth and Women’s Rights in Birth, that I get really angry. Hey-I’m human! However, I don’t want those who read both of my blogs to feel I’ve “lost control”, or to tune out…that would be rather counterproductive.

With this motivation in mind, I’ve taken a few deep breaths, put on some nice soothing music…and I’m going to calmly try this again. I’m hoping this post will be a precursor to the full story-and a call to action, but sometimes sensitivity to legal issues is the most helpful thing we can offer….so this is going to be tricky-how to say what’s on my mind without sharing the story so you, as the reader can fully understand the absolute idiocy of this situation, and the injustice surrounding the whole thing….

But in the meantime, here’s my comment: 

I’d just like to say (gently of course) that I really hate it that women have to stress about who can/should/is allowed to be present and giving help during the birth of THEIR baby. Honestly-with all the legislation and meddling the governments in North America inflict on couples bearing/birthing their children, it makes us wonder whose baby the government REALLY believed it is… (If they can dictate your birth, jail you for not vaccinating-take your kids and perform unnecessary (unnecessary because the child is already cured-and proven to be cancer-free) chemotherapy treatments on your kids, and force you to close down your homeschooling set-up and send your kids to school….maybe this question isn’t so far-fetched!)

I also wonder what messages-both direct and subconscious are being communicated to the population through this issue.

Let’s set aside all the questions about the bigger “agenda”, and how all this bullying, prying and government legislation of a topic which quite frankly is none of their damn business leads to complicit people who trust the government without question…(because it’s the environment they’ve been raised in themselves…) babies who have been injured-programmed if you will, at birth by the violence found in medical births-and mothers who are weakened-NOT strengthened by their birth experience….(sorry, was that a rant?)

And let’s talk about the harsh reality-the ones people hate to consider. Here it is: Babies are going to die. Even some mothers are going to die. It sucks-it’s horrible-it’s tragic when it happens to someone we know or love, and noone wants to be that statistic. We ALL want happy, healthy, glowing mothers and babies-but in reality, it can’t be a 100% perfect situation, because it’s nature. Look at nature-and see the truth about the process. And then STOP trying to make it something other than what it is. Stop thinking that if we cut open everyone’s stomach, and yank the babies out butt first, or induce them on some magical day with chemicals never even tested for that purpose, THEN the survival rate will be much better-much more predictable. No, it actually increases the risks to both mother and baby, sets them up for a long path of difficult healing, and if-Goddess forgive-someone should pass anyway, it leaves very little to hold on to, and a whole lot of “what ifs”. Death is a part of life. And blaming anyone (aside from true negligence) is in reality, just a type of denial-denial that we are part of nature, and denial of the reality of life/death-which is ridiculous, because it is what it is.

Sorry-got a little sidetracked. Well anyhow, here it is in plain English: My 5 Smooth Stones:

1) WOMEN HAVE THE RIGHT to birth where they want, when they want (not being forced into induction or scheduled C-section) and with whom they want. NOONE-not doctors, not legislators, not boyfriends or husbands has the right to force her into ANYthing she doesn’t want for herself and/or her baby.

2) GOVERMENTS NEED TO GET OUT OF OUR VAGINAS: Yes, I said the V-word. Who the heck started the rumor that being told when/how many times we will have our vaginas checked-throughout our lives and in pregnancy/labor, (and which ten student doctors will have the pleasure of learning on us) was NORMAL? How can we spend years teaching our daughters that they are sacred, and their intimate body parts are special and then send them into an office with a strange person who sticks metal things up them and looks at them like they are under a microscope!? Do you see the contradiction!!?

3) BIRTH WORKERS ARE A TREASURE NOT COMPETITION TO ELIMINATE. I cannot tell you how much I can’t stand seeing very capable, trusted women forced, coerced or blackmailed out of their jobs as Midwives-(and I’m including lay-midwives here) simply because the government(s) hate being out-performed. Women have the right to compassionate, women-centered care during such an intimate and life-changing time. It is the WOMAN’S needs that should be at the pinnacle of every health care interjection-NOT how that woman can be used to make money for the medical community or the local health care provider.

4) WHAT HAPPENS TO WOMEN IN BIRTH is a direct reflection of how she is viewed in her society. You cannot say women are equal, and valuable members of society and then take away their rights as soon as they begin to procreate. Babies are not investments to be managed-and neither are women.

5) WOMEN THROUGHOUT HISTORY have been the ones on the side of change. We have fought, shouted and organized more “wars” on: slavery, women’s rights, prohibition, and anti-war issues. Now it’s time to fight for our most basic right-the right to our bodies. The right to protect ourselves from being touched, injected, monitored and tested without our consent.

So…What are your 5 Smooth Stones, and what are you going to do with them?

 (And yes,  I realize my tone was a little less than “sweet”-but it’s toned down from what I had originally! ;-) )

One-Day only Valentine’s Day Special!

She Births Facilitator Training Coupon!

Reality TV”-A Call for Comments

I received an “interesting” email last week, from a lady by the name of Kate. Here’s what her email said:
 
Hi! I was referred to your blog. We are currently casting for an upcoming series with the Oxygen network featuring pregnant women ages 20-29. We’d love for you to post or pass along the attached casting notice at your store for anyone you know who might be interested in being on the show. Don’t hesitate to contact me with any questions or concerns. Thanks!
 
Kate
Varuna Entertainment
=====================================
I have to admit I was curious. After all-I have long dreamed of participating in a “reality TV” show that chronicles REAL birth, and empowered women and their journeys…Could this be my opprtunity? Is she contacting me because I am like-minded? So I opened the attachment…
 
Here’s what it said:
 
 CASTING CALL FOR REALITY SHOW!!!!

Pregnant women wanted for the Oxygen Network

ARE YOU AND SOMEONE YOU KNOW PREGNANT?

Do you have pregnant friends, coworkers or relatives?
We want you and your pregnant posse!
Women ages 20-27 who…
Are ruled by raging hormones
Demand attention
Love being in the spotlight
Want their child to be raised with
a silver spoon in their mouth
Are pregnant or trying to get pregnant
Are planning the baby shower of the century
Speak their mind no matter what
Are opinionated about raising children
Send your contact information and pictures to
(her email) for application
and instructions on how to submit a video…

=================================

I was shocked. I couldn’t believe that someone would have the nerve to send this to me-it was clear she may have been “referred” to my blog, but hadn’t read a single entry. So I wrote her an email:
 

Dear Kate,
 
Are you kidding me!?
 
It is obvious that you know nothing about my work or my approach to pregnancy/childbirth. If you had any idea of what I do, you would only call me for shows that are created to strengthen a woman’s right to choose in Birth, encourage the sacredness and transformational opportunity found in Birth, or to teach about the non-physical aspects of childbirth.
 
I found your “TVMOM-flyer” more than offensive-and a prime example of why I speak out against so-called “reality” TV when it comes to Pregnancy and Childbirth. Do you even know what kind of complications arise when birthing women are “watched” by strangers?  I would not be at all suprised if your show is funded, at least in part, by organizations who promote drugged and choiceless pregnany/birth.
 
I’m glad you found my blog-be sure to watch for a new posting sometime next week-there’s a good chance this flyer may be famous!
 
I am shocked and dismayed that you-a woman-would feel this flyer is appropriate! It mocks-rather than supports expectant women, and puts them in a position to be used as entertainment.
 
If you’re ever looking for TRUTH about the Transformational Intangibles in Pregnancy and Birth….feel free to contact me again.
 
With Hope for a Peaceful World where women grow babies and birth them in Peace!
 
Marcie Macari
 
===============================
Her response:
 
“Thank you for your opinion. Best of luck.”
 Kate
===========================
 
There is a degradation in this kind of show-this approach to women and pregnancy which mirrors our societies opinion and lack of respect for women, sacred life and pregnancy. Needless to say I am more than annoyed. If anyone agrees and would like to send me their comments about this proposed show, I plan to send an email to the producer with my strong objection, and would love to send others along-send them to me at: mmacari@gmail.com, with:”TVSHOW” in the subject line. Please include your name, “title”, business name and an email for contact. It will be included with your comment. Thanks!

My review of Epi-No

Did that title get your attention? I hope so, because the product I’m going to share with you today is both unusual, and amazing. I am very excited to share this for a few reasons, and here are just a few:

1) It’s about friggin’ time someone created something about what we could do aside from perinatal massage to prepare our perineum for the challenges of delivering a baby. Because lets face it ladies…most men well, they can’t even NAME it let alone actually know how to help prepare it by massaging it!

2) I’m all about “de-classifying” the truths about women’s vaginas. They are a lovely, sexual, mystical body part, but they should be no more off-limits for discussion and preparation that say…an arm or a diaphragm. (You know, the muscle you would SING with? ;) )

3) Women tend to be frugal people. We don’t want to spend a ton of money on something we can only use for a short period of time. This amazing gadget will help with kegel toning, incontinence, birth preparation-to help prevent tearing and “needing” an episiotomy….and more!

And after all that, I’ll bet you’re wondering what kind of exciting gizmo this could be!

Click here to learn all about the Epi-No!

A letter from a Physician to the ACOG (and my response!)

Quote:

Not all physicians agree with the AMA’s position, however. Dr. Andrew
Kotaska, noted Canadian researcher and Clinical Director of Obstetrics and
Gynecology at Stanton Territorial Hospital, issued the following response:

I would invite ACOG to join the rest of us in the 21st century.
Modern ethics does not equivocate: maternal autonomy takes precedence over
medical recommendations based on beneficience, whether such recommendations
are founded on sound scienctific evidence or the pre-historic musings of
dinosaurs. In the modern age, the locus of control has, appropriately,
shifted to the patient/client in all areas of medicine, it seems, except
obstetrics. We do not force patients to have life-saving operations, to
receive blood transfusions, or to undergo chemotherapy against their will,
even to avoid potential risks a hundred fold higher than any associated with
home birth. In obstetrics, however, we routinely coerce women into
intervention against their will by not “offering” VBAC, vaginal breech
birth, or homebirth. Informed choice is the gold standard in decision
making, and it trumps even the largest, cleanest, RCT.

Science supports homebirth as a reasonably safe option. Even if it didn’t,
it still would be a woman’s choice. ACOG and the AMA are, by nature,
conservative organizations; and they are entitled to their opinion about the
safety of birth at home. As scientific evidence supporting its safety
mounts, however, (to which BC’s prospective data is a compelling addition)
they will be forced to accede or get left behind. The concerning part of
this proposed AMA resolution is the “model legislation.”

If ACOG and the AMA are passive-aggressivel y trying to coerce women into
having hospital births by trying to legally prevent the option of homebirth,
then their actions are a frontal assault on women’s autonomy and
patient-centered care. Hopefully the public and lawmakers realize the
primacy of informed choice enough to justify Deborah Simone’s words: “We
don’t need to be angry or even react to these overtly hostile actions from
the medical community. We just need to keep doing what we do best; the proof
is always in the pudding.”

It is sad to see the obstetrical community still trying to earn itself a
wooden club as well as the wooden spoon; if the resolution passes, it is sad
to see the politico-medical community helping them.

Andrew Kotaska
Yellowknife

==================================

My Reponse:

Great letter…the only thing, is that the medical community’s lack of boundaries does NOT limit itself to the area of Birth. Big Pharma IS starting to force health decisions on people-particularly the parents of ill children-the PARENTS are being forced to give treatments to their children which go against their instincts/beliefs or personal research. They are being fed fear and threats, even having their children removed temporarily to be treated-not allowing the parents to see the child and support them through such a difficult process! There is no humanity-no compassion-no intelligent thought left in the upper echelons of the Medical Realm. It sickens me. 

 Remember the teenage boy with leukemia, whose mother refused chemo, and instead helped her son to COMPLETELY heal himself through a variety of natural healing modalities, verified by medical tests? Not in remission-HEAL HIMSELF. The courts still forced this boy, who now did NOT have leukemia to undergo Chemo-to suffer through the effects of such a treatment-when he was perfectly healthy. Why did they do this you ask? Because they wanted the money for the treatments? Maybe-but I suspect that it was better for their “PR” than anything else. You see, if they “let” one woman and her son do it successfully without their help-in fact better than those who ARE “helped”, then well…chaos could ensue! People may actually have the audacity to start thinking for themselves! To take back their rights to their bodies, and begin refusing chemical poisons as a way to “manage” or “cure”.

 The rights of autonomous and self-directed medical choice are not only being denied in the birthing sector. It’s happening everywhere-some more subvertly than others, (ie not giving ALL the information, Bill C-51 in Canada which WILL affect the US policy on natural supplements and Codex Alimentarius), and more obviously with situations of hospitals refusing VBACs and forcing people to take treatments like the above example. The problem is, that when we allow one family to fight this alone and they lose, Big Pharma claims that territory. One by one, one family at a time. This is why we need to be more vocal-more “in your face” with the truth about Birth and other natural health options.

If we do nothing besides talk amongst ourselves…we are without hope.

It’s Been a Long, Long time….

Hello all my friends and new readers!

 It’s been a long time since I’ve written a post, and not because I haven’t wanted to. I honestly have just been so busy that this (sadly) has fallen to the wayside. I only wish I could clone myself…wake up one morning next to another one of me who would do what needs to be done, automatically and without so much as a single question about what needs to be done or why….ahhh….

 But I digress.

 I have some very exciting news! Bloomin’ Belly Soaps is going to be featured in Mothering Magazine! September is their pregnancy issue, and I’ve been told that my product will be included in one of their review sections! I’m really looking forward to this, since Mothering is such a well-respected magazine-and very much in-line with my personal ethics and parenting convictions!

I am also excited to share the unveiling of something I know you’ve been anticipating for several months…

 (DRUM ROLL PLEASE!)

 The “She Births Women of a Thousand Generations Birth Preparation Course” is now launched! You can see/read all about it here.

 If you’re interested in taking the full course, or you would like to give it as a gift, email me at: shebirths@gmail.com , and I’ll give you 10% off the cost!

I love what I do. Truly. And I’d like to share my enthusiasm and knowledge with you: Even with the economy slowing down, people know that natural products on their skin and in their home can really improve their health, and extend the length of their life, so the “non-pregnancy” area of my business is starting to really flourish. I’m working on a catalog, (catalogue for all you Brits) which will be available at the end of June or beginning of July. If you’re interested in becoming a rep for your area, please let me know as I am gathering quality people to help me launch this aspect of the business!

Please forgive any misspelling-or poor sentence structure, because I am literally falling asleep at my keyboard-I’ve been fighting off a nasty staph infection, and it’s got me really wiped-out!

Take Care-Hug someone you love. (Or someone you don’t!)

Marcie