shebirths.com

As I put the last ginger chew,purchased to quell my morning sickness, into my mouth, I realize that I’m doing this out of habit, and not because I still need it to soothe my tummy. It wasn’t a bad dream. I roll over and pick up my 5lb yorkshire terrier Sprite, and tuck him under my chin, crying-for the 5th time since 2AM. I’m not coping very well with this, and I’ve never been so thankful for an animal in my life. I hold him like he’s a lifeline back to my sanity-and he licks the tears off my chin as I weep.

Weeping is normal-it’s good to grieve, or so that’s what the experts have plastered all over the internet. But what I need is an answer-I don’t understand how I could’ve lost a second baby in a mere 3 months. In this short span of time, I’ve managed to even my number between “live births” and “miscarriages”. 3-3.

I’ve never had a difficult time conceiving and have 3 healthy children, with only a miscarriage of a twin with my first pregnancy as any kind of experience with this heartwrenching sadness. I’m getting older. I’ve hit the magical number 35, where people say things can become very difficult-though friends from highschool are celebrating their swelling bellies and surprise pregnancies with the flourish all babies deserve. So why me?

When the first miscarriage happened 3 months ago, it was just 4 days after I discovered I was expecting-and to be honest it scared me a bit, but I chalked it up to being older and just a normal part of nature’s weeding out process. So we tried again. We agreed that this time, if the baby didn’t “stick”, we wouldn’t keep trying. We’d consider it a sign that our family was complete and we could move on to the next stage of life.

But that was before this happened. I am so confused with emotions right now-anger, annoyance, frustration, sadness, intense grief-you name it I have it. There’s even maybe a small hint of relief in there-which ironically is so minute in comparison to the sadness that I wonder how I ever considered that my childbearing years could be done.

Friends tell me that I’m not too old-that it just will take some support this time around-that I need to heal and then try again. But I’m pushing 36 and I don’t want to have a baby when I’m 38 years old, wasting time waiting for appointments with specialists and trying to source illegal natural products that help boost progesterone levels naturally. I don’t have time for that- Time flies by so quickly.

I feel like I’m just stuck-I can’t just “try again”, because my risk of a third is very high unless I sort out what’s causing them in the first place. I have no idea what to do.

I realize I haven’t bought more iron pills, and have been out of them for several days-which would partly explain the wooziness I feel. I want to wake my husband up and tell him to hold me and then go run these errands for me so I can stay in bed and cry-but I don’t think that would be fair considering how hard he’s been working lately. So I call the store to find out when they open, and make a deal with myself to get out of bed in 38 minutes.

I lie there, snuggling my dog, feeling exhausted-like a woman who has been running for days and is not allowed to stop-I’m not sure where this is coming from, since I haven’t hardly been out of bed in 2 days.

When I first saw the blood this time, I called my husband who was on his way back from a client’s office, sobbing and freaking out. He told me he was sorry-and then I couldn’t talk so I crawled in bed and waited for him. There was quite a bit of cramping, but so little blood and tissue that I figured it could just be spotting, and I held onto that hope like a good luck charm. And I rested. And I waited.

The time on my clock says it’s time to get up, so I get dressed-which I honestly don’t remember doing, set the kids up with my computer to keep them busy while I run to the store, (hubby is still snoozing) and I leave. It’s a sunny but foggy day-and my first stop is to the library-I rented a few movies this past weekend, and need to return them. As I walk to the dropbox with the pile of videos in my hand, I remember that one is a prenatal workout video-and I can feel myself getting choked up again. I hate that I’m so emotional, and as I drop them in the slot-I notice that the sound they make hitting the bottom sounds remarkedly final.

I drive to my next stop, the grocery store for a couple items-as I’m walking in a beautiful redheaded woman in a raspberry top and flowing skirt is exiting about 10 feet infront of me. She’s probably about 8 months along. I don’t even know what to think, so I lower my eyes. I don’t want her to see me-I’m sure she can tell that my body is a baby killer.

I don’t even care how irrational that sounds-I feel broken-and ashamed.

My last stop is a small department store to purchase a birthday gift for my almost 5 year old. 2 more days, and my youngest will be 5. He stopped nursing 3 months ago, and at the time I was relieved, because I thought maybe I miscarried because he was still nursing since it happened immediately following his evening ni-nis. But now I want it back. I may never nurse a babe again-and that thought scared the crap out of me.

I’m one of the first people there for today, so I pull into a parking spot, turn off my car, unbuckle my seatbelt, grab my purse-and turn to get out of my car. Until I see that I had inadvertantly parked in the expectant mother parking. That’s when I lose it. I start crying like some crazy person right there in public view. I’m so glad that I’m very early and the parking lot is nearly empty, because I turn the car on, and slam it into reverse to park across in the other aisle and I’m not quite sure I would’ve missed something had it been behind me. I sit in this new-non pregnant lady-parking spot, looking across the aisle at the sign and thinking to myself-how the hell did I end up here?

I gather myself, dodge the concerned looks of the workers in the store who can tell I’m obviously not ok, get what I need and exit quickly. The fog has lifted and all this crying has done me some good. I’m still teary, but I can tell that as my pregnancy symptoms are diminishing, so will the pain of this loss.

I am not sure what to do, and I probably won’t know the answer for awhile yet. I’m not sure I’ll try again, since the risk of another is so high and my emotional state so fragile. But that’s today. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from all of this, it’s not to assume you know what tomorrow will bring.

Filed under: Childbirth preparation, placenta, Natural Health, Health Rights, natural parenting, unassisted birth, women, birth, natural birth, midwives, Uncategorized on July 14th, 2010 | No Comments »

Motherhood: A Call to Return to Joy. 

We spend a lot of time, money and effort in this “civilized” society,

Contradicting-covering up all signs of having been a mother-So much value is put on the “resilience” of womanhood, that we’ve forgotten the importance of transformation.

See, sometimes it is better to move forward-and not to go back to what we were before.

We go to classes to lose the “baby weight”, we use product to fade the stretch marks,

 And we go to great lengths to disguise, exercise away, and even surgically remove the “baby pooch”, or the now slightly less full and round breasts that becoming a mother has left us with.

But don’t believe it for a second.

One day, when your kids are grown, you will treasure those sagging breasts for the memories they bring of late night nursings, and children who curled up to you for comfort when they were afraid. The very same breasts that comforted your crying babe, will also comfort you one day-later in life.

Don’t be fooled by the glitz and pointless glamour of perfect bodies and lives untouched by children raised by daycare providers and nannies:

Motherhood, for all its difficulties, all its inconveniences and all its internal challenges-is intended, no created-to be transformational.

Here is the advice I would give to a younger “sister” about to embark on Motherhood:

Staying true to who you are is NOT the same thing as keeping the same friends and going out every Friday night, just as you did before children. Becoming a mother will sort-out your friends from the deadweight in your life, because you simply will not have the energy to spend maintaining friendships that don’t enrich.

Your body is supposed to be different. The pictures in magazines don’t do justice to the beauty that lies in a body that has been marked forever by the process of pregnancy and birth. There is no surgeon, no exercise, and no cream that can make a woman’s body as beautiful as the natural changes that occur when she is a vessel for life’s coming-forth.

Let Motherhood Change You.

When we hold our tiny babies in our arms, and no one else is around, we can hear our babies speaking to our hearts-whispering to us of free spirits, infinite love, peace that passes all understanding, and joy-the kind of joy that makes us dance in the rain, not caring who thinks we’ve lost our marbles. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself one day actually dancing in the rain-or jumping in mud puddles. Having children gives us the chance to live-the excuse to make memories that will last forever-sometimes memories that heal parts of our past and fulfill longings left unsatisfied as a child.

They also reflect back to us all that we used to be-once upon a time-before the Teachers: Hurt, Disappointment, Loneliness and Sadness joined our path. We are reminded that what we do to others affects their paths too-and our perception on our interconnectedness with all other living beings is changed forever. Mothers feel a deeper need to protect the innocent, fight for justice and cause lasting change to policies because we recognize that all people everywhere have been mothered. And that we are mothers to the world-and all its inhabitants.

We also realize suddenly one day, that if these small beings-who depend on us for their very lives-can choose us to care for them, we must live up to being worthy of this honor-and in order to accomplish this lofty goal, it is imperative to seek with all our hearts to understand what we are really capable of, and then to allow ourselves to be inspired to do what we never thought we could do before.

Motherhood is a process.

You will not be a perfect mother, just as you were not a perfect woman. Motherhood, the same as life-is a process, a journey. It is not a standard to live by, and there are no hard and fast definitions for what makes an ideal mother. You and your child will grow that definition each day-one day at a time. Don’t be hard on yourself.

Being a Mother will bring things to light.

Nothing will sort out confusing emotions and memories from our own childhood like being a mother. You WILL do things your parents did, simply because that’s all you know. Some of these things will be gems-things you are so glad you experienced and can now pass on. And some of these things will shock you-even anger you-because they go against what YOU believe parenting should be. Don’t chide yourself because of this. Take a deep breath, and be grateful for your awareness that gives you the chance to do better than the generation before you, and pray that your child does better in hers/his. Remember that you are redefining your own motherhood journey (and your child’s) every day.

Your children are of you, but do not belong to you. Don’t be fooled-they are full beings, and come here knowing more about the things that really matter than we do after all these years of “growing up”….because we have forgotten so much.

Being a mother teaches us just how to let go, and reminds us to have a sense of humor.  Kids WILL fill their diapers at the most inopportune times, and are guaranteed to start wailing at the exact moment you pray they will be still. They will be perfect angels all day until you arrive at your Mother in Law’s house, and they will never EVER sit still for photos. This is just the way it is. The faster you learn to choose your battles, the more fun with it you will have.

And finally fun is the thing.

Seriously. Even if some days you have to “fake it till you feel it”, have some kind of fun every single day. 

Without fun-this life of motherhood would be nothing more than piles of laundry, dishes and a constant and exhausting battle of wills. But with an element of fun? Well, your outlook is brighter, your children happier and your inner self more at peace. Maybe it’s the happiness you feel watching your little one discover something about the world you’ve taken for granted. Maybe it’s a tickle fight or a race to see who can get dressed in PJs the fastest.

It is these childlike thrills and small bits of guiltless pleasure that will make your experience of motherhood the journey to joy that was always intended. 

Filed under: unassisted birth, natural parenting, Childbirth preparation, Natural Health, midwives, natural birth, women, birth, spirituality, women's rights, Uncategorized on October 18th, 2009 | No Comments »

Motherhood: A Call to Return to Joy. 

We spend a lot of time, money and effort in this “civilized” society,

Contradicting-covering up all signs of having been a mother-So much value is put on the “resilience” of womanhood, that we’ve forgotten the importance of transformation.

 

See, sometimes it is better to move forward-and not to go back to what we were before.

 

We go to classes to lose the “baby weight”, we use product to fade the stretch marks,

 And we go to great lengths to disguise, exercise away, and even surgically remove the “baby pooch”, or the now slightly less full and round breasts that becoming a mother has left us with.

 

But don’t believe it for a second.

 

One day, when your kids are grown, you will treasure those sagging breasts for the memories they bring of late night nursings, and children who curled up to you for comfort when they were afraid. The very same breasts that comforted your crying babe, will also comfort you one day-later in life.

 

Don’t be fooled by the glitz and pointless glamour of perfect bodies and lives untouched by children raised by daycare providers and nannies:

 

Motherhood, for all its difficulties, all its inconveniences and all its internal challenges-is intended, no created-to be transformational.

 

Here is the advice I would give to a younger “sister” about to embark on Motherhood:

 

Staying true to who you are is NOT the same thing as keeping the same friends and going out every Friday night, just as you did before children. Becoming a mother will sort-out your friends from the deadweight in your life, because you simply will not have the energy to spend maintaining friendships that don’t enrich.

 

Your body is supposed to be different. The pictures in magazines don’t do justice to the beauty that lies in a body that has been marked forever by the process of pregnancy and birth. There is no surgeon, no exercise, and no cream that can make a woman’s body as beautiful as the natural changes that occur when she is a vessel for life’s coming-forth.

 

Let Motherhood Change You.

 

When we hold our tiny babies in our arms, and no one else is around, we can hear our babies speaking to our hearts-whispering to us of free spirits, infinite love, peace that passes all understanding, and joy-the kind of joy that makes us dance in the rain, not caring who thinks we’ve lost our marbles. Don’t be surprised if you find yourself one day actually dancing in the rain-or jumping in mud puddles. Having children gives us the chance to live-the excuse to make memories that will last forever-sometimes memories that heal parts of our past and fulfill longings left unsatisfied as a child.

 

They also reflect back to us all that we used to be-once upon a time-before the Teachers: Hurt, Disappointment, Loneliness and Sadness joined our path. We are reminded that what we do to others affects their paths too-and our perception on our interconnectedness with all other living beings is changed forever. Mothers feel a deeper need to protect the innocent, fight for justice and cause lasting change to policies because we recognize that all people everywhere have been mothered. And that we are mothers to the world-and all its inhabitants.

 

We also realize suddenly one day, that if these small beings-who depend on us for their very lives-can choose us to care for them, we must live up to being worthy of this honor-and in order to accomplish this lofty goal, it is imperative to seek with all our hearts to understand what we are really capable of, and then to allow ourselves to be inspired to do what we never thought we could do before.

 

Motherhood is a process.

 

You will not be a perfect mother, just as you were not a perfect woman. Motherhood, the same as life-is a process, a journey. It is not a standard to live by, and there are no hard and fast definitions for what makes an ideal mother. You and your child will grow that definition each day-one day at a time. Don’t be hard on yourself.

 

Being a Mother will bring things to light.

 

Nothing will sort out confusing emotions and memories from our own childhood like being a mother. You WILL do things your parents did, simply because that’s all you know. Some of these things will be gems-things you are so glad you experienced and can now pass on. And some of these things will shock you-even anger you-because they go against what YOU believe parenting should be. Don’t chide yourself because of this. Take a deep breath, and be grateful for your awareness that gives you the chance to do better than the generation before you, and pray that your child does better in hers/his. Remember that you are redefining your own motherhood journey (and your child’s) every day.

 

Your children are of you, but do not belong to you. Don’t be fooled-they are full beings, and come here knowing more about the things that really matter than we do after all these years of “growing up”….because we have forgotten so much.

 

Being a mother teaches us just how to let go, and reminds us to have a sense of humor.  Kids WILL fill their diapers at the most inopportune times, and are guaranteed to start wailing at the exact moment you pray they will be still. They will be perfect angels all day until you arrive at your Mother in Law’s house, and they will never EVER sit still for photos. This is just the way it is. The faster you learn to choose your battles, the more fun with it you will have.

 

And finally fun is the thing.

 

Seriously. Even if some days you have to “fake it till you feel it”, have some kind of fun every single day. 

 

Without fun-this life of motherhood would be nothing more than piles of laundry, dishes and a constant and exhausting battle of wills. But with an element of fun? Well, your outlook is brighter, your children happier and your inner self more at peace. Maybe it’s the happiness you feel watching your little one discover something about the world you’ve taken for granted. Maybe it’s a tickle fight or a race to see who can get dressed in PJs the fastest.

 

It is these childlike thrills and small bits of guiltless pleasure that will make your experience of motherhood the journey to joy that was always intended. 

Filed under: unassisted birth, natural parenting, Childbirth preparation, Natural Health, midwives, natural birth, women, birth, spirituality, women's rights, Uncategorized on October 18th, 2009 | No Comments »

http://theallnaturalandwahmproductreview.com/?p=254

Filed under: women on July 26th, 2009 | No Comments »

Hello Ladies!
I know several of you have contacted me in the past couple weeks, asking what has become of my intention to open a Female Artists Collective, and I’m writing you today with exciting news about where the project is, and the opportunities there are to be involved. Be prepared that this email may be long, since there’s much to communicate-so you may want to grab a cup of coffee, or your favorite Herbal tea, and settle in!
When we were last in contact, I had my eye on a property on Prince Edward Island, which is located in Ontario Canada. It was a lovely property, and held such potential! Unfortunately, after my family and I drove there, we discovered that what we thought would be a fairly reasonable drive from Toronto, where my husband has clients he must meet with at least once a week, was actually a 3 hour drive. While I felt this concept would work really well there, he was not willing to take the chance that because of distance, he could lose his clients and well, then my venture had better work-and work well!
We looked in several other locations, all within an hour and 1/2 of Toronto. Either the property was perfect, but out of our budget, or it was on too little land, without “shop” potential, or it wasn’t in a town that I felt demographically could/would support my business.
Then we found it. (Drum Roll Please!)
We’ve purchased a property in Fergus Ontario, and we move in on September 1st!! It only has 1 Acre, but is laid out very well, allowing for much potential for many uses. We border another residential property on one side, and a small dairy farm on the other-the cows look at us over the fence, and the air is sweet with country air. (Aaaahhhhh..good to be back to what I know!)
The most exciting feature about this property, is a 970 square foot shop, with it’s own entrance/driveway/small parking lot at the back of the property! The driveway opens to a major (not highway though) road, and our house driveway onto a dirt road! I couldn’t be more excited!!
Fergus, is a small town with a high average income, (mansions abound), a quality of life that supports the downtown  core, which is filled with boutique shops (about 5 minutes from us) and it has a very active artist’s community. The cities of: Guelph (22 minutes), Kitchener (40 Minutes), Orangeville (36 Minutes) and Toronto/Brampton/Mississauga (Approx: 1 Hour and 15 minutes) are all close enough to bring in customers and students. There are also several Studio Tours in the area, which I will be applying for us to be a participate in.
The shop is Steel Construction, and is insulated/drywalled and has a small woodstove for heat in the winter. I’ll be renovating the inside of course, but it’s got such great “bones”!
It is surrounded by trees, but is visible from the road, and I will be putting a sign up at the end of the driveway to advertise and create a presence locally.
Isn’t this exciting!!!???

Here is my vision:
As a fellow artist, I understand how frustrating it can be to send product to be sold on consignment. To begin with, there are hardly ever advertising opportunities, since the shop wishes to keep all business going through their shop-a second issue I’ve found, is that there is rarely any feedback on either the product or the sales, and you’re left just waiting and hoping for some money for product you created with the high hopes of someone loving it!
So I will be doing this slightly different. What I am offering is a more personal arrangement. You will have your picture (if you wish), your paragraph about your work and your business cards there with your product. So not only will you make sales through the shop, but you could be contacted for commissioned work by the customers directly, thus bypassing the sales “fee” completely!
I will also provide customer feedback upon request at anytime, and will share things of importance with you personally as we go along. It is my sincerest intention to help you become your best, and to succeed at what you love.
I am looking not for women who “need” to make money, and do so by making things. But for whom creating is a way of connecting to Spirit, and a source of joy. If you ind yourself “lost” in time when you create, then I may be looking for you! In order to stay true to my vision, all product will be high-end, and I will not inviting “crafters” to participate, as I want it to represent the best of Divine Creative Energy-the kind women attune themselves with, and make the world a better place through. Everything will be reviewed and it will be a “by invitation only” type shop. I don’t want to exclude anyone, because I know firsthand what rejection feels like, but in order to keep the project on track and focused, I will need to do so.
I also intend to offer classes/workshops for women/children which foster creativity, healing through creative expression, spirituality through creativity, and finding our voice through creating. I will also invite artists and artistic souls to share their perspective and teachings as well.
I will hold special events, where women can come and share in Creative Day-retreats where they can be encouraged to stretch, and supported in their journey, Picnics/Play days and Art classes for home/unschooled children and other-abled children too, and many more ideas!
Many things afoot….

SO: Here are the ways you can apply to be involved:
========================================

Option 1: Straight Consignment: Here’s how it works:
You let me know you’re interested in being considered, and I send you an email requesting you send me 1 Sample. If you are a painter or have product worth more than $50, you are welcome to send prints/greeting cards, or to Pay for return shipping, should you not be invited. Keep in mind that I will be shipping from Ontario Canada. If you ARE invited to participate, I will catalog your sample as one item in my shop, and put it for sale. There are 2 Consignment Options: 60% (you) 40% (the shop). This percentage does NOT include the monthly advertising co-op of $5.00/month. If you’re concerned about a monthly fee (which may be purchased at 6 month installments) you may also opt for a 50% (you)50% (the shop) split, which will then also cover your monthly co-op amount.
You MUST leave your product in the shop for a 1 year contract, and then should you wish to continue, it will be on a 6 month by 6 month contract.
Option 2: Rent Space for your product in the Shop: Selection process is the same as above…But You pay $35/month, which includes your co-op advertising fee, and you make 100% of each sale back. You still must commit to 1 year, and rental amounts can be paid monthly, in 3 month or 6 month increments. If you pay for a year, you get a discount of $20, and it costs $400.00. After the first year, you may renew or discontinue your contract without penalty.
*The co-op advertising gives us the chance to advertise the shop/events in local newspapers, radio and TV.

You are welcome to switch your contract type after the first 6 months, but each time you switch, there is an admin fee of $20.00, since it requires re-tagging your product and changing the catalogue system.
ALL artists are required to pay a one time set-up fee of $35.00, which includes admin and inventory set up. This fee never happens again, as long as you stay with us! If you discontinue your contract, and then decide to come back on board, the admin fee applies each time you re-join. So basically, join and stay forever!
I will be starting a newsletter within the first 6 months or so, and will be featuring one artist in each newsletter. This service is covered by the co-op advertising fee, but other services like blog features, newspaper features, and etc. will be offered as paid (a la carte…)options throughout the year. These additional advertising opps are NOT mandatory. I just want to be able to offer opportunities to further your business!
I will also have a website at some point, but probably not more than a landing page for the first year. I’m happy to link to your sites for free from the landing page, once it’s up!!

WHEW! This is really long!

Ok-finally…I’ll need to know your feedback on the above options. I would like to know who feels they would like to apply for consideration, and which option looks the best currently. I would also like to have a vote on naming the center, since I’ve narrowed it down to 2 names…
If you’re a local artist, or travel to Ontario-I’d love to have you come and share your talent with us in person! Please mention that in your email.
And finally, if after reading this announcement, you no longer feel it’s a good fit for you, please simply reply with “no thank you” in the subject line, and I’ll remove your email from my mailing list.:)
Thank you all for reading this incredibly lengthy email, (this is why I am currently  writing a NOVEL! lol), and I look forward to hearing back from you soon!
With Excitement!
Marcie

Filed under: women on July 19th, 2009 | No Comments »

We all have been where I am now. A million different reasons, circumstances and events have brought us each to the spot I have just stepped off of…on my way to where my choice will lead.

I’m talking about that feeling ladies-the one where we are BURSTING with something fresh, lovely, bold, intuitive, brazen or just plain unconventional. We have discovered a tiny path through a thick forest-walked only by a few, but noticed and gazed at by many. Within us, we have this understanding that something-must-change.

Outside of us however, there are many conventions-beliefs about who we must/should/need to be. The “right order” of priorities, opportunities and advantages. It could be motherhood-coupledom-school-health conditions or simply (but powerfully) our own long-held shortsighted perspectives. No matter the specific reason, we each have found ourselves here, in this jar-lid purposefully and tightly sealed, cramped and wanting out….no matter the “how”, the feeling of being more than what we are-of deserving a chance to BECOME all we were created to be, remains the same.

I’ve been standing on this well-worn spot for quite awhile now. I’ve looked all around me and practically begged people to give me the answers I need-the permission to fly-the equation for freedom.

But finally, I have uncovered the secret. Not in an ancient text or written in the sky-just here. In my heart, through the wise counsel of women who have been here. I could only find this on my own after being tired of this place. After being fed-up with fetters and chock-full of shackles.

I discovered, that though I willingly crawled into the jar, believing wholeheartedly in good faith that I was safe inside-and that should I ever be ready (healthy, strong etc…) enough to come out, the lid would be opened willingly for me…..

And, as so many others before me, I have discovered this is not the case. People don’t like change. They are used to us being in the jar, living the title, fulfilling the role….and to set us free means risking it all.

So I’ve been standing here, on this wellworn circle of grass-waiting-praying-wishing-dreaming that someone, that one specific someone in particular, would take the plunge, the risk, the chance. On me. On my intellect, my intuition, my drive and determination, my well-proven track record of creating things out of nothing. “Open the lid”, I begged. “Please let me try…” I pleaded. “Just give me a chance!” I demanded.

But here’s the secret: I may have climbed into the jar willingly, and we make choices based on the information we have at the time. And that’s ok. But I do NOT have to stay inside willingly.

This whole time, I’ve believed the only way out was through the top, my cramped limbs and unflexed muscles have been straining to stay contained-trying to find a way to be comfortable where I am.

But what if: What if I stop straining to stay contained? And instead simply allowed my limbs-my wings-to open and stretch to their fullest potential? I’ll tell you what happens: This jar would explode into oblivion. It cannot contain me-how silly I was to think it would!

It would be lovely if our partners, parents, bosses and ourselves would simply open the lid and make our coming out an easy and peaceful transition, sprinkling flower petals as we walked our rite.

But this is seldom the way true heroines emerge. Heroines give themselves the permission that the damsels in distress ask others to give to them.

Besides- there is something to be said for explosive entrances-the kind that cause eyebrows to raise, and make people ask the question:

“Who is this Wild Woman, and HOW did she get into that tiny Jar!”

Filed under: liberal, fundamentalism, placenta, alternative lifestyle, sex, Health Rights, Codex Alimentarius, Natural Health, Childbirth preparation, circumcision, spirituality, birth, women, women's rights, natural birth, natural parenting, unassisted birth, midwives, Uncategorized on June 23rd, 2009 | No Comments »

I kept hearing about it….and I finally gave it a go-it’s a great way to get ahold of people quickly! I’ll be posting blog post links for both blogs, contests, sales, and personal updates there-soo much less time involved!

 Follow me here: http://twitter.com/shebirths 

 As soon as I hit 1000 follows, I’m going to offer a really exciting contest!!!

 Thanks~!

Marcie

Filed under: alternative lifestyle, liberal, placenta, sex, Natural Health, Health Rights, Bill C-51, Codex Alimentarius, Childbirth preparation, circumcision, spirituality, birth, women, women's rights, natural birth, natural parenting, unassisted birth, midwives, Uncategorized on June 23rd, 2009 | No Comments »

Today, I had one of those moments that alters us inexplicably in a matter of just a few seconds. You know-one of those moments that blindsides you out of nowhere, takes your breath away and shakes your foundation just enough to cause a shift-one you will never be able to fully undo.

I was standing at the checkout line of a local Asian market. Thanks to the popularity of sushi, this particular store has the freshest fish around, so I prefer to buy my Salmon there-to be honest, they also have a wide variety of exciting fruits like Lychees and Mangos which are honestly my biggest weakness in the world.

I was there with my two boys in tow, putting my groceries into my re-useable bags, )because if you choose not to use their bags, they will NOT bag your groceries. (!?))…

As I stepped back from the counter, I felt like my heel was on fire-jammed between cold metal and the floor-I assumed it was a grocery cart, and as I cried out, and turned around, it was a Pakistani man in a battery-powered wheelchair. He said sorry-as he looked around to see who it was who had been hurt. When he saw me doubled over and holding on to the edge of the checkout counter, the strangest thing happened.

He looked at me, and I could see that it registered on his face that I was a woman, and his demeanor completely changed. He suddenly looked me in the eye angrily, and shouted: “YOU Should watch where you’re GOING!” He put his nose in the air and glared at me annoyed as he rolled by.

It was significant, because in the physical position I was in, slightly bent-over, leaning hard against the end of the checkout, I was in a submissive position physically-hurting and shocked. I saw in his eyes this complete lack of compassion and a conviction about his status-that I was a mere woman, and not deserving of a true apology-or acknowledgment.

 Suddenly I felt this rush of sensation-and women’s faces flashed before me. Generations of women disregarded, abused and tortured-regarded as nothing more than a convenience. I felt the sting of absolute humiliation and public disdain, and as I reeled from this vision-I held tighter to the checkout counter and wondered why noone offered to help me.

Not one person-including the cashier offered to help me. Everyone saw me struggling with little boys and bags of groceries, limping to my car in very obvious pain. And not one person asked me if I needed assistance.

I was processing this vision and feeling very much still “electric”, when we reached the car. One of my boys said they were “mad at that man”-and that he was “really bad for doing that and for yelling at me”. I looked into my boys’ soft brown eyes, and realized that what I had experienced in there-the vision I had had, was nothing compared to the next few sentences I would share with my boys.

It is important to me to have my boys grow up respecting women-I want them to cherish them, love them, treat them gently and listen to them when they speak. I know this is going very much against the “grain” in our society-especially with so much religious excuse for the disenfranchisement of women worldwide, and that this moment-this way of handling myself in this situation, would no doubt be important to accomplishing this task.

I answered them carefully:

“That man was wrong to hurt someone and then not apologize. But maybe he has been treated badly, and has a lot of angry feelings inside, and maybe noone has taught him that we don’t use angry feelings on or toward someone else. What he did was wrong, and it’s ok to feel angry about that, but let’s hope he finds people who will show him what love is, and that his heart gets better, and let’s let it go.”

 Defined by a Hit and Run: 1 Point for Women. 0 Points for Injustice.

Filed under: muslim religion, liberal, alternative lifestyle, fundamentalism, natural parenting, women, spirituality, women's rights, Uncategorized on May 4th, 2009 | No Comments »

ONE AND THE SAME

By: Marcie Macari

There is a feeling waiting to escape from my depths-

         It presses hard and upward- I swallow it down.

It isn’t that I don’t want to just “let fly”, or

            that I don’t believe I deserve to let go.

I do.

It’s just- I fear the tremors that will result

      when the Earth feels my rage-

 

The floods that will ensue-

    when this damn finally breaks-

The deader the silence, the more devastating the storm-

      and this silence is death.

The woman within is finally waking from a sleep

                                                                    I did not choose.

     Anesthetized against my will-

                             numbed by societal structures,

 

I donated vitalness without consent.

I have slept through

            the massacre of millions of women

                             silenced by rusty tools of subservience-

Maiming-

                   the beauty of sexuality and pleasure ripped  away

                               they are sewn tight- expression forbidden.

Women- the very essence of beauty,

                 draped head to toe in black-

                          covering the joy-inner flames extinguished-

                                         the very soulfire of yin

                                                  disguised and denied.

They are both the mourners and the deceased.

Winter has come and gone now-

 and Spring has me hungry to discover-

                      the sacred space

        where Goddesses dwell-

 

Where round bellies of creative souls,

               teach all that is eternal.

But all I see is desert- a vast and desolate space-

 

Retribution calls loudly-

                and my voice is joined by many-

                          it turns to a battle cry-

SOMEBODY somewhere MUST take responsibility

for this carnage-

 

                     this massacre of innocence-

                              this slaughter of purity.

And yet-

                    to be fully awake is to realize that I am you-

                                    you are me-there is no them-

                                               we are all one being-

We are inseparable-

 

If I feel the need to avenge your grief- I must

                        also be willing to be charged responsible.

This is true consciousness-

We have all turned down the volume, hindered the

                              noise, shushed the “instigators”-

                                         and in so doing, we have kept the innocent asleep-

                                 SO BE LOUD I SAY! Shout! Scream! Cause quakes and

                                               floods that keep your sister, mothers, daughters

                                                                       from falling asleep-

The web of oppression stretches across the

                Earth-corner to corner-

                                        it touches us all.

                                       Noone is immune

                                                     for we are one.

Filed under: muslim religion, fundamentalism, liberal, Natural Health, Health Rights, Childbirth preparation, natural parenting, women, birth, spirituality, women's rights, Uncategorized on May 2nd, 2009 | No Comments »

* This post evolved into something I wasn’t expecting-it mentions maternal/baby deaths, and I would NOT suggest reading this if you are pregnant and/or haven’t come to terms with this topic. *

I have started this post so many times I’ve lost count. In my most recent blog post on  (*if you’re expecting a baby, please don’t click this link!) my other blog, I went off my normal topic, basically letting loose about some of what I think about what’s happening in our world, and in particular here in North America. (Hey-it’s my blog, my prerogative!) I yelled and shouted and hopefully…at least one person will wake up.

But when I sat down here to write this post about some information I just received from a very dear, very valuable Birth worker, I found myself writing in the same tone, because truly I’m so sick of the injustices surrounding the topic of Birth and Women’s Rights in Birth, that I get really angry. Hey-I’m human! However, I don’t want those who read both of my blogs to feel I’ve “lost control”, or to tune out…that would be rather counterproductive.

With this motivation in mind, I’ve taken a few deep breaths, put on some nice soothing music…and I’m going to calmly try this again. I’m hoping this post will be a precursor to the full story-and a call to action, but sometimes sensitivity to legal issues is the most helpful thing we can offer….so this is going to be tricky-how to say what’s on my mind without sharing the story so you, as the reader can fully understand the absolute idiocy of this situation, and the injustice surrounding the whole thing….

But in the meantime, here’s my comment: 

I’d just like to say (gently of course) that I really hate it that women have to stress about who can/should/is allowed to be present and giving help during the birth of THEIR baby. Honestly-with all the legislation and meddling the governments in North America inflict on couples bearing/birthing their children, it makes us wonder whose baby the government REALLY believed it is… (If they can dictate your birth, jail you for not vaccinating-take your kids and perform unnecessary (unnecessary because the child is already cured-and proven to be cancer-free) chemotherapy treatments on your kids, and force you to close down your homeschooling set-up and send your kids to school….maybe this question isn’t so far-fetched!)

I also wonder what messages-both direct and subconscious are being communicated to the population through this issue.

Let’s set aside all the questions about the bigger “agenda”, and how all this bullying, prying and government legislation of a topic which quite frankly is none of their damn business leads to complicit people who trust the government without question…(because it’s the environment they’ve been raised in themselves…) babies who have been injured-programmed if you will, at birth by the violence found in medical births-and mothers who are weakened-NOT strengthened by their birth experience….(sorry, was that a rant?)

And let’s talk about the harsh reality-the ones people hate to consider. Here it is: Babies are going to die. Even some mothers are going to die. It sucks-it’s horrible-it’s tragic when it happens to someone we know or love, and noone wants to be that statistic. We ALL want happy, healthy, glowing mothers and babies-but in reality, it can’t be a 100% perfect situation, because it’s nature. Look at nature-and see the truth about the process. And then STOP trying to make it something other than what it is. Stop thinking that if we cut open everyone’s stomach, and yank the babies out butt first, or induce them on some magical day with chemicals never even tested for that purpose, THEN the survival rate will be much better-much more predictable. No, it actually increases the risks to both mother and baby, sets them up for a long path of difficult healing, and if-Goddess forgive-someone should pass anyway, it leaves very little to hold on to, and a whole lot of “what ifs”. Death is a part of life. And blaming anyone (aside from true negligence) is in reality, just a type of denial-denial that we are part of nature, and denial of the reality of life/death-which is ridiculous, because it is what it is.

Sorry-got a little sidetracked. Well anyhow, here it is in plain English: My 5 Smooth Stones:

1) WOMEN HAVE THE RIGHT to birth where they want, when they want (not being forced into induction or scheduled C-section) and with whom they want. NOONE-not doctors, not legislators, not boyfriends or husbands has the right to force her into ANYthing she doesn’t want for herself and/or her baby.

2) GOVERMENTS NEED TO GET OUT OF OUR VAGINAS: Yes, I said the V-word. Who the heck started the rumor that being told when/how many times we will have our vaginas checked-throughout our lives and in pregnancy/labor, (and which ten student doctors will have the pleasure of learning on us) was NORMAL? How can we spend years teaching our daughters that they are sacred, and their intimate body parts are special and then send them into an office with a strange person who sticks metal things up them and looks at them like they are under a microscope!? Do you see the contradiction!!?

3) BIRTH WORKERS ARE A TREASURE NOT COMPETITION TO ELIMINATE. I cannot tell you how much I can’t stand seeing very capable, trusted women forced, coerced or blackmailed out of their jobs as Midwives-(and I’m including lay-midwives here) simply because the government(s) hate being out-performed. Women have the right to compassionate, women-centered care during such an intimate and life-changing time. It is the WOMAN’S needs that should be at the pinnacle of every health care interjection-NOT how that woman can be used to make money for the medical community or the local health care provider.

4) WHAT HAPPENS TO WOMEN IN BIRTH is a direct reflection of how she is viewed in her society. You cannot say women are equal, and valuable members of society and then take away their rights as soon as they begin to procreate. Babies are not investments to be managed-and neither are women.

5) WOMEN THROUGHOUT HISTORY have been the ones on the side of change. We have fought, shouted and organized more “wars” on: slavery, women’s rights, prohibition, and anti-war issues. Now it’s time to fight for our most basic right-the right to our bodies. The right to protect ourselves from being touched, injected, monitored and tested without our consent.

So…What are your 5 Smooth Stones, and what are you going to do with them?

 (And yes,  I realize my tone was a little less than “sweet”-but it’s toned down from what I had originally! )

Filed under: liberal, fundamentalism, placenta, alternative lifestyle, sex, Health Rights, Codex Alimentarius, Natural Health, Childbirth preparation, natural parenting, spirituality, birth, women, women's rights, natural birth, unassisted birth, midwives, Uncategorized on March 23rd, 2009 | 1 Comment »